Ellie (name changed) sat on the edge of the couch, twisting her wedding ring over and over.

“I know it doesn’t make sense,” she said, “but I can’t stop imagining the worst. That I’ll mess up at work. That something’s wrong with my body. That my partner is pulling away. It’s like my brain won’t let me breathe.”

Her hands were trembling. Her stomach had been in knots for days. Sleep came in fragments, thoughts raced in circles, and every attempt to “calm down” only made her feel more broken.

“I feel like a Debbie Downer,” she half-laughed. “I ruin everything with my worry.”

Anxiety Isn’t Just In Your Head—It’s In Your Body, Too

In Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we understand that anxiety isn’t just about thoughts—it’s about felt safety.

When your nervous system senses threat—real or imagined—it mobilizes. Your heart races. Your chest tightens. Your stomach churns. Your thinking narrows into a tunnel, fixated on worst-case scenarios.

You’re not being dramatic. You’re not being negative.

You’re trying to protect yourself—from pain, from rejection, from uncertainty.
It’s just that your protection system is stuck on overdrive.

The Loop: Fear, Isolation, More Fear

For Ellie, anxiety wasn’t just about what might happen. It was about what it would mean if it happened:

“If I mess up, they’ll think I’m incompetent.”
“If I slow down, I’ll fall apart.”
“If I need too much, I’ll be a burden.”

She was living in a loop of fear and self-blame—one that left her feeling alone inside herself.

That’s what anxiety often is: a loop between I’m not safe and I’m too much.
And underneath that? A longing to feel held, seen, and grounded.

The EFT Tool: Softening the Inner Alarm

We didn’t start with logic or to-do lists. We started with attachment awareness.

Together, Ellie and I mapped the loop:

  1. A trigger (a vague email from her boss)

  2. A story (“I’m in trouble. I’m not good enough.”)

  3. A physical reaction (tight chest, spinning mind)

  4. A withdrawal or shutdown (“Don’t talk to anyone, they’ll think I’m unstable.”)

Then, we named what was underneath:

“I feel like I don’t have a safe place to land.”

That sentence became the turning point. From there, we practiced a new move: talking to the anxiety instead of from it.

Ellie learned to say:

“This fear is trying to protect me. But I’m okay right now. I’m allowed to rest.”

That shift—gentle, compassionate, slow—wasn’t about “fixing” anxiety. It was about befriending it and anchoring into something deeper: self-trust.

If You’re Caught in the Anxiety Loop…

You’re not too sensitive. You’re not weak. You’re not broken.

You’re wired for connection. And when connection feels uncertain—whether with others or within yourself—your system goes on alert.

But you don’t have to stay stuck there. You can learn to quiet the alarm. You can learn to feel safe again—bit by bit, breath by breath.

May this be a small olive branch of hope for wherever you are.

Warmly,

Susan


Susan Liddy, MAMFT
Cornerstone Family Services
Roswell, Georgia

 

 

🌿 Caught in an Anxiety Loop You Can’t Break?

If your thoughts feel stuck on worst-case scenarios and your body won’t stop buzzing with fear, you’re not alone. Anxiety often stems from a nervous system that no longer feels safe—within yourself or with others.

I offer complimentary consultations to help you explore whether therapy could support you in calming your inner alarm and reconnecting with a steadier sense of self.

Let’s talk. Sessions are available in-person in Roswell, GA or virtually across Georgia. (My fees, should we choose to work together, range from $125–$135 per session.)